I am trying and trying but every time I think about it makes me laugh. I am talking about giggling or that cute laugh some people are able to carry out. I mean one of those huge guffaws. One of those laughs that causes your belly to shake and you face to hurt. This happens every time I think of it. Or something reminds me of that moment.
Ok, I am going to let you in on what so funny. Well at least it was to me.
I was at the local community in one of those huge lecture rooms. I had some certification that was up for renewal so I was there, along with three hundred other people in related fields, taking a couple of test. Each was about an hour to two hours long.
We had just had a break and everyone was returning to his or her seats. After a couple minutes the test instructor ask all of us to be quiet because we are about to start the next part of the test.
Let me tell you about the test instructor. He was about five feet six inches, medium build and very serious. One of those persons that talked in a monotone and has not laugh since Washington was president. Which could very well be true because he looked as if he was a hundred and fifty years old. To boot he is a priest. Like a real life catholic priest.
Therefore, the entire lecture hall is completely silent. It is like you can hear a mouse peeing on cotton. I mean it is quiet.
He finally handed our tests, after explaining the directions to us, we are instructed to turn the paper over and being the test.
As I said before it’s really quiet. Everyone is working hard and completely focused on the test, when all of a sudden a hear a squeak. Thinking that maybe someone scraped their chair, I continued with my test.
But the squeak kept repeating itself. Not in a pattern or a beat or something but in a random patter. As I look up from my test, I noticed the instructor looking very uncomfortable. And red. I remember thinking this guy has some serious problems. Then quickly returning to my test. I mean it is a timed test, so I didn’t have all day to complete.
Then out of nowhere, we all hear the loudest, most earth shattering fart!
The instructor had let one rip! It was so loud that people passing by in the hallway heard it. What is worth that it was immediately follow by the most God-awful smell?
As soon as he let out that goose egg, our instructor shot to his feet walking quickly with his thighs clenched together out the door. And that smell trailing behind him.
Everyone almost without missing a beat started laughing. People were falling out of their chairs with laughter.
I wish you could have seen his face, that poor man. He looked as if his entire world just collapsed all around him. His face, his entire body was red. His eyes look as if there were tears in them and he was slightly shaking.
He’s lucky that the test mandates that we not bring our cell phones to the test. As I am typing this, I’m laughing by my own recollection.